Infidelity: Healing Through Tapping

Discovering that your partner has been unfaithful can be an earth-shattering experience, leaving you feeling betrayed, hurt, and overwhelmed. Coping with infidelity is a challenging journey, but healing is possible. One technique that can aid in this healing process is tapping, also known as Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Below, we’ll explore how tapping can help you cope with the pain of infidelity and move forward towards healing and restoration.

Understanding Infidelity

Infidelity can manifest in various forms, from emotional affairs to physical intimacy outside the relationship. Regardless of the type, the impact on the betrayed partner is profound, often leading to feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and despair. It’s essential to acknowledge and process these emotions to begin the healing journey effectively.

What is Tapping (EFT)?

Tapping is a holistic healing technique that  involves gently tapping on specific acupressure points on the body while focusing on the emotional distress or negative thought patterns. This process helps to release energy blockages and alleviate emotional distress, promoting a sense of calm and well-being.

The Tapping Sequence

Top of the Head: Center of the top of the head.
Eyebrow: Beginning of the eyebrow, near the bridge of the nose.
Side of the Eye: On the bone at the outer edge of the eye.
Under the Eye: On the bone under the eye, directly below the pupil.
Under the Nose: Between the nose and the upper lip.
Chin: Midway between the bottom of the lower lip and the chin.
Collarbone: Just below the collarbone, about an inch down and to the side.
Under the Arm: On the side of the body, about four inches below the armpit.
Side of the hand: Between the wrist and the base of the pinky finger.

Acknowledge Your Feelings

Begin by acknowledging and accepting your emotions surrounding the infidelity. Sit quietly and identify the emotions that arise, whether it’s anger, sadness, or betrayal. Once you’ve identified these emotions, start tapping while repeating affirmations such as “Even though I feel hurt and betrayed, I can learn to deeply and completely accept myself.”

Release Negative Energy

Tapping can help release the pent-up negative energy associated with infidelity. Focus on the specific emotions you’re experiencing, such as anger or resentment, and tap through each acupressure point while expressing how you feel. For example, while tapping on the karate chop point, you might say, “Even though I feel betrayed and angry, I choose to release this negative energy from my body” or if needed, “Even though I feel betrayed and angry, I can learn how to release this negative energy from my body.”

Cultivate Self-Compassion

Infidelity often leads to self-blame and feelings of inadequacy. Tapping can help cultivate self-compassion and forgiveness towards yourself. Focus on the areas where you feel unworthy or inadequate and tap while repeating affirmations such as “Even though I blame myself for what happened, I choose to forgive myself and move forward with compassion.”

Set Boundaries

Establishing clear boundaries is essential for rebuilding trust and creating a sense of safety in the relationship. Tapping can help you clarify your boundaries and communicate them effectively to your partner. Tap while affirming your boundaries, such as “Even though I feel scared to set boundaries, I trust myself to prioritize my well-being and learn how to communicate my needs.”

Focus on Healing

Ultimately, the goal of tapping is to facilitate healing and restoration. Use tapping as a tool to focus on the healing process, visualizing yourself moving forward with strength and resilience. Tapping does not eradicate the emotions you may experience after an event, but it can help bring them within a tolerable range, so you can cope while moving through next steps and not feeling as overwhelmed. Tap while affirming your desire for healing and growth can also help support your ability to take steps needed. Consider using, “Even though I’m in pain right now, I trust that I have the strength to heal and rebuild my life.”

If you would like to connect with a therapist trained in tapping, connect with us to book an appointment. 

References: 
https://www.everydayhealth.com/wellness/eft-tapping/guide/
https://centerstone.org/our-resources/health-wellness/how-to-deal-with-infidelity/

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PsychSolutions

PsychSolutions provides services for trauma, motor vehicle & workplace injury, bipolar, anxiety, depression, insomnia, suicidal prevention & bereavement, and relationship and parenting difficulties.